My Reply… Hey… “Don’t Ridicule Me”

September 3, 2007

Oh yawn Curtis/Myspace underlings… really.

Forthwith and hitherto you can take your emails and inherently flawed legal suckcockings and go shaft yourself with them in hard copy.
Where do I begin? Firstly, you want me to delete my blog (“remove any and all defamatory blogs”)? Tsk tsk. Methinks my web host, WordPress, and the blogosphere wouldn’t be happy with this demand. At least you’ve stopped CC’ing WordPress as it’s probably dawned on you that the blogging community is in ideological opposition to your fascist cause.

But if that’s not enough… you also want me to delete all blog comments and forum posts relating to Curtis! Whoa, that’s a big one. I mean, I understand the Internets were envisioned as a gloryhole for Curtis’ attention whoring self-styled “hottie sensation” image, but really… it would be difficult for me to track down all the forum comments I’ve made. I mean there are so many emo-pop-gaycore forums I go on to talk about the C, it’s just not feasible.

Oh, and were not in fucking China.

In our respective regions Freedom of Speech and Opinion are highly valued as basic human rights. And people seem to be exercising those rights! Just Google “Curtis Newart” and you can see all the real life people talking about Curtis, and real reviews of real shows. Or maybe not. Maybe all you see is a bunch of other suss looking Myspace profiles belonging to equally vaporous tards.

Please though, allow me to deconstruct a little further.

Your emails have little commercial value, but lots of comedic value, thus with no potential for either of us to economically benefit from your correspondence, please consider the fact that I will keep-a-publishin’ ‘em, as long as you keep being a dick and sending them. People aware of this situation don’t seem to like your impersonal attempts to suppress my negative yet entirely legal opinions of Curtis, and when talking to me about it they mention strangely similar things like “freedom of speech” “but it’s a blog” and “fucktard”. As with your music, the consensus is negative – accept it.

And the remixing thing… Sure, I’m no Johnny Thumper, Stanley Bradley or Club Remix but I see you let them put their little Fruity-Loopsy-Reasony-tinny-native-processing spin on your “playful techno pop” masterpieces. Why not me?

Lastly, thanks for reporting me to my “Internet service provider”. Your highly skilled legal team must have meant my friendly and informative web host, Neureal. They are really nice people and you are annoying them and their customers.

Hear from you soon, no doubt.

Whatever.

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